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Then one day, we finally admitted to ourselves, to our Gods and Goddesses,
The contentment we once sought through substances and behaviors will come naturally, if we stop fighting everyone and everything, including ourselves. We let the simplicity of our being define the moment. Ironically, the more we let go of our old conflicts, the more contentment we receive. And with our renewed spiritual strength we will be eager to share our experience with others, and continue the cycle of recovery.
A Higher Power of Our Understanding The 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous has become the most popular treatment for addiction since its humble beginnings in 1939. Other recovery programs, Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Dual Recovery Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Pills Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Marijuana Anonymous, and many more, have adopted A.A.'s 12 steps to deal with addictions other than alcohol. Addicts have also found quality recovery in secular groups, such as the Secular Organization for Sobriety (SOS). Three primary suggestions form the core of 12-step philosophy: 1. Turn all of our character defects over to a Higher Power of our understanding. 2. Embrace humility and selflessness by surrendering egoic desires. 3. Help others in recovery to do the same. If we stop fighting (the world, drugs, drink, our spouses, parents, ourselves) our reactions to our environment will change for the better, and our feelings and mood will improve. Most of what bothered us in the past will become irrelevant, and our craving for substances will slip away. The 12 steps are clear on one point: we are free to choose a "Higher Power" of our understanding. It must be greater and more powerful than ourselves, and capable of removing our pain, our craving for damaging substances, and our defects of character. Then we surrender our control to this power, asking only for guidance in our continued spiritual maintenance. Christians usually choose Jesus Christ for this Higher Power. Muslims choose Allah. Jews choose Jehovah. For atheists and agnostics, the recovery group itself can serve as a Higher Power. Pagans in recovery have Cerridwen, Isis, Cernunnos, Osiris and countless others to choose from. (Other people, particularly spouses, do not make good Higher Powers; if another person is already your "Higher Power," please consider an upgrade.) Many pagan religions accept that all gods represent a greater Deity, one which is beyond our understanding. Gods and goddesses serve as an "graphical user interface" for something incomprehensible to the human experience. Everything is connected; the Divine resides in all of us. All matter, down to the last atom, is part of Divinity. In our addiction nightmare we have lost touch with this Divinity. But it is still there, and reachable. Reclaiming this connection is our primary tool in recovery. All are welcomed to PSR meetings with the condition that, while we do not have to accept another's religious concepts as our own, we must respect them.
One might ask, "There are already 12-step programs in abundance, and they all suggest that we embrace a Higher Power of our understanding. Why create PSR?" Pagans who dare to share their Higher Power are often (but not always) shunned in 12-step groups. If we dare talk about magick, Sabbats, rituals,Witchcraft, Wicca, Mother Earth, the Lord and the Lady, or accidentally use the pronoun "she" instead of "he" when describing a Higher Power, the usual reaction is a fearful look, a cold shoulder, a noticeable level of discomfort, and (though this is rare) even angry, verbal assaults. A.A. groups, populated and run by alcoholics who are also struggling with recovery, rarely achieve the ideals of tolerance, acceptance and unconditional love at all times, and in all situations. The programs themselves don't cause problems for pagans. The interpretation of the program and the attitudes of the individual members do. No one person or group speaks for the 12-step programs. We refer to PSR as a "spiritual supplement" because it complements our other 12-step meetings with free discussion of our spirituality. Despite the problems many of us have had in 12-step meetings, we avail ourselves of the good recovery experience to be found; trust in your deities to lead you where you need to be.
It could be that you have already had a bad experience with a 12-step group, and do not want to go back. That's OK. You don't have to. Perhaps it was too "Christian," or someone sneered at your pentagram and made much of the fact that you were different. Or maybe you just didn't feel right there, and your deities were urging you to look elsewhere. Some of our members have had the same ill fortune, and have foregone all other 12-step groups, making PSR their sole recovery home.
Alcoholics Anonymous and Christianity A.A.'s Twelve Steps are based on the principles of the Oxford Group, a Fundamentalist Christian organization active near the turn of the 20th century. With some success Bill W. and Dr. Bob used Oxford Group concepts to treat alcoholics; while this worked for some, the overbearing Christian message ran many others off. To make A.A. more palatable they omitted much of the Christian message from the official program, leaving the definition of "Higher Power" to the individual members. The Akron A.A. group drew heavily from the New Testament, especially the Book of James, the 13th chapter of First Corinthians, and the Sermon on the Mount. As A.A. matured Bill W. saw the wisdom of de-emphasizing Christianity, thereby keeping the door open to alcoholics who have had a bad experience with organized religion, or who embraced another religion altogether. As the founders have admitted, A.A.'s strength can be its weakness. While Alcoholics Anonymous is loosely coordinated from the General Service Office in New York City, each group is autonomous, and functions as a whole according to a set of guidelines. There are no rules. That such an organization would not only survive but flourish into the 21st century tells us that the original members had an amazing grasp of the future needs of the fellowship.
What About All Those Male Pronouns? The A.A. founders were a product of their times, born around the turn of the century. A lot has happened this century to frame our present way of viewing the world--civil rights, affirmative action, and the women's right to vote (Bill W. was 24 years old when the 19th Amendment was passed) which had yet to happen when Bill W. met Dr. Bob. Besides, is it reasonable to expect these two men to create the most effective treatment for alcoholism and drug addiction in history, and have its essential texts be "politically correct" 70 years later, in a world they could not imagine? There are those in recovery who don't care what our "Higher Power" is, but still insist the program is not one of religion. The problem is one of ignorance, perception, and upbringing. Today when someone describes God as a male, monotheistic figure, they can only be referring to Judeo-Christianity, no matter how unbiased they think this expression is. Well meaning folk see no contradiction with using "He" to describe a "generic" divine power; this is the concept they grew up with, and they know no other.
. . . there was sex. Forty thousand years ago humans had not made the connection between sex and procreation. Women became pregnant, men didn't. Naturally the Deity that gave birth to the cosmos would be female. Monotheism is a relatively recent concept. Consider the following timeline of dominant religious beliefs of human history:
12-Step recovery programs for pagans is nothing new; they've been around for at least twenty years, probably longer. These groups are primarily rephrased 12-step programs that have replaced the male pronouns of "God" with "Goddess" or (as PSR has done) used asexual names for the Divine Power such as "Deity." Pagan spiritual counselor Selena Fox (see Circle Sanctuary) began looking into these recovery issues as early as 1984, when one of her clients described the prejudicial attitude of his A.A. home group. Her findings revealed numerous conflicting beliefs between the A.A. presentation of God and the Pagan view of the divine. Fox concluded that two concepts in particular, 1) Deity gender and 2) The notion that a "Higher Power" was separate from their own inner divine self, were the primary barriers in "getting with the A.A. program." Also, the Pagan view of a self that is "essentially whole and capable" did not agree with the Christian concept of sin and morality that is prevalent throughout A.A. literature. The best research to date is the Pagans in Recovery Experiences Project (PIREP), begun by Fox in 1994. Using her "Empowerment Twelve Steps," one of our members conducted a series of recovery workshops at a popular Texas pagan festival (see Council of the Magickal Arts.) However, attendees quickly pointed out that the Empowerment "Higher Power" is of inner origin, and does not manifest as an "outer" Deity. Not all pagan traditions regard Deity as exclusively "inner." While concepts vary between traditions, most pagans perceive Deity as an all-inclusive consciousness, containing the inner spirit, the elementals, the various miscellaneous spirits, and all the gods in one divine package. Was there an existing pagan 12-step program that included both concepts? An Internet search turned up other recovery programs, a web ring listing 96 recovery sites . . . and a small number of pagan recovery sites. "Pagan Paths 12-Step Recovery" listed on their home page the following description: "This is an educational networking and support site for pagans in all 12-step recovery programs who seek support in working the Steps while staying true to personal beliefs, diverse lifestyles and various spiritual practices." This excellent website has good solid recovery essays from a half dozen or so authors, but one gets the impression that while it got off to a grand start, the site was never really finished (Note: we would dearly love to reprint some of the stories on this site. If anyone can help put us in touch with the authors we would be most grateful). There were tantalizing references to step rituals, but these were mostly dead links. Attempts to contact the webmaster have failed. Their 12-step version is essentially unchanged from A.A.'s, with the exception of rephrasing God as simply "Higher Power" and the disease of addiction as "behaviors." This more than covered the "outer divine" concept, but there didn't seem to be an inner spirit involved at all. The search continued. Listed on the Pagan Path site was the web page Stepping Through to Recovery, by Anodea Judith. On the home page are the usual arguments for a pagan 12-step group. Listed at the bottom were not 12 steps, but 15. But there it was, in Step 2! "Came to believe we could realign the power within and the power without such that each served to enhance the other." The additional steps were expanded versions of the original 12, offering sage advice such as "We grow in our awareness that we are sacred beings, interrelated with all living things and, when ready, take an active part in helping the planet become a better place for all people including ourselves." (Step 15). However, we don't know if there was an actual group using these steps, or if so how active it was. Some of our early members thought these steps were too complicated and numerous, particularly for beginners. The concepts were positive, and it was easy to see that these steps would be an excellent meditation tool for someone who already had established a pattern of sobriety, but the adage "keep it simple" prevailed. In North Hollywood there is an active pagan 12-step meeting, the Pagan 12-Step Group with slightly altered steps. It also offers a flexible view of Higher Power: "Whether divinity as you may understand it lies within the self or without; whether it be male, female, many, singular, the energies of the earth, or the higher self within; we as Pagans commonly accept the responsibility for being the threshold through which the Godhead or Higher Power may express itself in our universe." The Nine Step Pagans had some good information on addiction. They offer a very simple, easy to assimilate 9 Step program that in itself is complete, helpful and positive. Their steps de-emphasize Deity and focus on secular and mundane sources of Higher Power, such as friends, as stated in their fourth step: "We sought help from our Deities, fellow humans, healers, clergy, groups, or whatever source necessary, to aid us toward freedom and health," an option which would appeal to a substantial number of pagan recoverees. Attempts to contact Nine Step Pagans have also failed. Overall, it would seem that the time for pagan-specific Step recovery has definitely come. In true pagan fashion, there are many different ideas about the steps, and their relationship to Deity, and this is, in our opinion, how it should be. Diversity in this area is essential, and each recoveree should find the program that best suit their spiritual needs; this is why pagan-specific recovery has come about in the first place. Having examined the philosophies of the known pagan recovery groups we found many good elements, and incorporated them into the PSR's version. However, after stirring it all together in our recovery cauldron, we ended up with an unexpected thirteenth step (In 12-Step jargon, the "13th Step" is a euphemism for the unethical behavior of sexually seducing newcomers in the program). Because of the connotation, we considered rewriting everything in order to end up with 12 steps, but discarded the notion. 13 steps sounded so right! 13 full moons per solar year. 13 members of a coven, etc. "13" was so appropriate that, despite inferences that didn't really have anything to do with us, we let the number stand. Our sober experience has revealed that quality, long term sobriety is contingent on regular maintenance: frequent meetings, service work, and above all, conscious and frequent contact with a divine power. So in our 13 steps to recovery we mapped out a more specific plan to reestablish our connection with Deity. We are free to define our higher power without having to "translate" into pagan terms what everyone else is saying, or vice-versa. It is vital that we mention here that there is no one right way to outline a pagan (or any other) recovery program. Freedom to modify and adapt the steps should be preserved for all. The argument for this was best put forward in the Big Book of A.A.:
A "sanctum" is defined as a place of safety, free from intrusion, which all recovery meetings should be. But Paganism is not yet understood in many parts of the country, and many evil and negative things are attributed to this movement by people who have been told by clergy, parents, and other authority figures what to think about this path, without asking the practitioners themselves what they are about. These attitudes trickle down through the various recovery programs, and Pagan Sanctum has been formed, in part, to serve as an umbrella. The purpose of Pagan Sanctum is not to create controversy, but to provide for our recovering Pagans a safe environment for the discussion of any Higher Power that best suits our spiritual needs, in an atmosphere of genuine mutual respect. The founders of A.A. had in mind just such a place for all alcoholics, guided by tolerance, acceptance, open mindedness, and unconditional love. With the proper shelter from the storm, we can successfully help each other achieve happiness through extended sobriety, and realize our potential as divine creatures of the universe.
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